The digitus impudicus and more

Here’s a fascinating primer on gestures.  Who knew that the rude finger gesture is more durable than its very name?

Tip from the Geek Press.

Pay no attention to the C-17 behind the curtain

The President’s recent bus tour, revealed as eyewash.  Big surprise.

Tip from the Parkway Rest Stop.

Here comes the DYSCALCULA epidemic

Back in grad school, whenever a statistical problem had us stumped, we would joke about having a bad case of dyscalcula, comparing ourselves to dyslexics because the problem was so puzzling we weren’t sure we understood the question, let alone had a clue about finding the answer.  Well, dyscalcula is making its real-world debut.

Oh goody! another friggin’ made-up disability just begging for an army of thumbsuckers to cater to it.  I can already see the Math Ed folks gearing up to teach college-level courses in counting your fingers.  Right behind them come the Food Nazis, who’ll jump on this to explain that dyscalcula leads to obesity due to Poor Portion Perception.  Then come the financial regulators, the traffic safety gang, the FDA, the FTC, the PTA, etc. etc.  This will be a research (and comedy) goldmine.

Dollars to donuts (that’s 2:1 for you dyscalcics), most of these poor performers catch on just fine if their baby sister tries to short them on the split of the Halloween candy or a piece of cake.

Tip from Joanne Jacobs.

Just tatoo “Redneck LOSER” on your forehead…

…it would be a lot cheaper than Confederate license plates.

But what the heck, we’re catering to every other gang of perverts, layabouts, and degenerates in society, so why not let these hapless mooks self-identify?

Update (10 May).  The affliction isn’t confined to pseudo-conservative Jacksonians!  The Guardian has a series of essays (inadvertently) explaining why the term public intellectual merits the forehead tattoo “Shill for the State.”   Here’s the money quote from philospher Alain de Botton: “Most of the really influential public intellectuals are now employed by the state and we’ve never heard of them. They don’t generally have a public profile, but they have a public impact…”  [Yeah, wouldn't want the general citizenry to flock together and decide their own futures out in public, now, would we?]   Tip from American Digest.

Let’s push the “abstract behavior rules”

The latest in NewSpeak is renaming Easter Eggs as “spring spheres”.

We were doing some linguistic horsing around yesterday, and decided “spring spheres” lacked any sort of multicultural element.  We decided to call them “cojones colorados.”  That should provoke some discussion.

Tip from the Corner.

Stupiphany

Developmental ed is the Bermuda Triangle of higher education.

Deconstruction

"One Orange County city has already taken bold steps to correct its $10
million deficit. It may be a model for other cities and states across
the country. Internally, it has decided it will not replace any city
worker that dies, retires, moves or quits."

Read all about it.

Tip from Overpaid Government Worker, via the Instapundit.

Oikophobia

Taranto explains our national malaise:  we’re being governed by a gang of oiks.

Post turtle…

…as in "President Obama is just a post turtle.

(photo by Eric Tank, on Flickr)

Unscrupulous Optimism

It takes a kind of militant ignorance to indulge in utopian thoughts.